Activities Galore

For the past 3 years, my girl has, like most kids her age, participated in 2 activities beyond the school day. She does gymnastics throughout the school year and has a break during the summer. Soccer is in the spring or fall. She has always loved gymnastics since she has one of her good friends in class with her. She’s not a huge fan of soccer and finally got through to Gollum this year with how much she disliked it. Big Papa played soccer in high school and enjoyed helping out the coaches on her team so I always wondered if Gollum chose soccer to appease him in some way. We never have any say or decision in the activities she does….we just come out and support my girl as much as we possibly can.

This year, for second grade, she has continued with her catholic after-school education (I’m not Catholic so I’m only slightly familiar with the terms…I believe the class is called CFF). That class is on Tuesday afternoons from 4:30 – 5:30. Since Tuesday is our night, I pick her up from the class on my way home from work.
My girl was already requesting more time with us because she didn’t get the whole afternoon to see us when she began this class in her first grade year. We were told by Gollum that she was taking this class on our night….not asked, told. Now Gollum has signed her up for swimming which is 3 nights a week practice plus Saturday’s for meets. She also signed her up for Choir which is Wednesday afternoons and a few Saturday’s in December and the Spring for concerts. Keep in mind that she also maintains gymnastics on Saturday mornings. I am tired just writing all that.

Swimming is Monday, Tuesday and Thursday night. So she literally is busy every single day of the week except Fridays. Oh, she has Sundays “off” too, can’t forget that. Normally she has to do choir and CFF homework on Sunday’s.

Big Papa and I are really concerned that this schedule is taking a toll on her. I know Tuesday nights take a bit of a toll on me already. The first night was awful. She wouldn’t go to bed because Gollum had told her that she could go to bed at 9:30. As nicely as we could, we reminded my girl that “Mommy doesn’t make the rules in our house and you are going to bed at 9.” Cue meltdown.

It’s gotten better but it is still tough because we want to spend time with her and not have to rush from place to place every time she’s with us. She and I get home at about 6:10 from work/CFF. We need to leave at 6:30 to get to swimming on time. Which leaves 20 minutes to get her fed, changed into her suit, gather up her towel and shampoo, etc and do 2 pages of homework with a stubborn 7 year old.

After swimming which is 7-8, I rush her into the showers and put on pajamas at the school. We get home about 8:40 and we give her 20 minutes to get a quick snack, brush her teeth, and play with the dogs. We don’t have time for anything else since her normal bedtime is 8 so 9 is pushing it. The only hope I have is that this swim season lasts until the end of January.

In the meantime, not only is it too much for her, we only have the time in the car to and from swimming to really spend with her so that makes our 2 weekends a month that much more packed. Gollum offered up one extra hour on our Sundays (we normally have her Fridays at 4:30 to Sundays at 12). Whoop-de-do. The weird thing was that Gollum told this to my girl and not us. From the sounds of it, she did this to appease my girl since she was sobbing when she found out swimming was Tuesdays nights and would give her even less time with us. And Gollum didn’t tell us this….her sister did. God forbid Gollum give up some of “her time” to make my girl happy.

Now Big Papa seems reluctant to fight for extra time every time we talk about it. My mom made a good point that Gollum cannot legally schedule any activities on our time and if she does, we don’t have to let my girl participate. Ugh, seems like an uphill battle any way you slice it. My fear is, if we don’t fight for more time with her and try to leave everything “civil and nice” with Gollum and let her walk all over us, that my girl will someday ask us why we didn’t fight to see her more. And we’ll have to tell her that it’s because of her overbearing, controlling mother. That and Big Papa’s fear of rocking the boat.

First Day of School

I realized, in my absence, how much I depend on my stepmom bloggy friends already. I have felt lost these past few weeks and it wasn’t a good feeling. As I mentioned in my previous post, the month of September just killed me with the start of school and all of my girl’s activities and just work in general for me. On top of all that, Big Papa and I decided that I would stop taking birth control and we would not actively try to get pregnant but see what happens….Yikes! Exciting and stressful and overwhelming all at the same time.

My girl’s first day of school is always a momentous occasion. We joke that she has the biggest fan club wherever she goes, whatever sport or activity she does because she has 3 sets of families - grandparents and aunts and uncles plus the parents. And everyone wants to be involved and capture all these exciting events on camera.
This first day of second grade we had the 2 biological grandmas, Big Papa and I, 2 dogs and Gollum to see her off on the bus. The bus stop is literally on the corner of Gollum’s property so we all gathered out front and chatted until the bus came. At one point Gollum went in and hauled Bilbo out to say hello to everyone. It was different than past years when he would’ve been outside from the beginning. Hmmm…..

The morning went smoothly and we took pictures galore and waved as she pulled away to start her adventure in second grade. I always shed a few tears on the first day…always hard for me to believe she is growing up so quickly.
At the end of the day I went to pick up my girl from the bus stop. Big Papa had to work but it was our night with her so I drove to Gollum’s house a few minutes early, thinking that one of the grandma’s would also be there. Surprise. It’s just ME and GOLLUM. FOR 10 MINUTES. While we wait for her bus. We each had a dog and her puppy was jumping on me because mine had somehow climbed onto my shoulder in terror of the situation.

My girl gets off the bus and is excited to see the 4 of us but then another girl got off with her. She had missed her stop. Gollum knew her mother so she called and offered to keep the girl at her house until the mother arrived. Gollum was headed to her job as a waitress so I offered to stay with the kids outside until the mother came.

But no such luck….

I waited in Gollum’s house, while holding my dog, for a good half hour until this other mom showed up. I don’t think I moved from my spot by the door in her living room. Meanwhile, her dog is scratching my legs trying to get to my dog. We both said something occasionally to each other but mostly talked to the kids.
FINALLY the other mom shows up and thanks Gollum up and down for staying with her kid. Horrors of all horrors, this mom comes in (I have met her at church on one occasion while I had my girl with me) and she can’t remember how she knows me so she says to Gollum,

“Who’s this? Is this your SISTER?”

My mouth literally fell open and I could not make words come out. Thankfully, Gollum stepped in and said, “This is my girl’s stepmom, Big Mama.” I would’ve thanked her but my mouth was still hanging wide open. Is it enough to say that we look nothing alike? I don't know what else to say besides that.

After we finally got to leave, I took my girl for some ice cream and a visit my in-laws. I was still traumatized from spending so much time in Gollumville but held it together to be excited for my girl on her first day of school.

Now let me say that I’m thankful we are civil enough with Gollum where we can share in the excitement of the actual first day of school. I know a lot of stepmoms and dads don’t get to do this. I’ll never forget my girl’s first day of kindergarten, her first year riding the bus - it was on a Wednesday and a morning where she should’ve been with us. Gollum pulled a fast one and said that she had asked us “a while ago” if my girl could have her first day of school at her house. I guess she felt bad after the fact because she invited us in for coffee and donuts that morning. Thanks but no thanks, sweetie.

Did anyone else experience a first day of school like this??