Gollum took her 2 weeks with my girl last year to various shore points near us and, from the sounds of it, my girl enjoyed her time there. We took a vacation last year to a different beach, more than a few hours away and my girl just loved it so much. We went with my whole family and it was just the most amazing week. My girl cried uncontrollably when we dropped her off to Gollum on the last day of the trip. She wanted her Aunt S-Pop and she didn’t want the week to be over. Gollum was none too pleased that my girl was crying at the prospect of ending a week with us.
This year we are again taking a trip to the previous year’s vacation spot. We sent an email letting her know and promised to work out some of the details (pick-up spots and time, etc.) once the trip got closer. A week or so later, Big Papa gets a text and then we receive an email that Gollum was taking my girl on a week’s vacation to the shore point closest to our town.
Now, it is stated in the custody agreement that each parent must give the other parent a thirty day written notice when taking my girl on any week-long vacation. When Big Papa and I were in the first year or so of dating, we decided to take my girl on a week’s vacation together, our first trip together and our first trip with my girl. Big Papa mentioned this verbally to Gollum but cut it quite close on giving the thirty day written notice (this was before I was involved in any of the communication).
We were harassed by Gollum AND by her mother to give that thirty days notice and an address of where we were staying. My girl was still quite young at this point so I could completely understand the worry of a mother sending her child on a trip without her, and one which also involved flying on a plane. This, however, does not warrant all the angry pointing to the court documents and the pressure we received. I mention all this because this year, for Gollum’s shore vacation, we received 2 weeks written notice that Gollum would be taking my girl on a trip. A trip that interrupted our weekend with the girl.
We decided to be kind and flexible and allow this without a battle, putting the past aside. We have missed my girl very much this week and before she left, she was also upset at the prospect of losing the half of the weekend with us as well as her time during the week at our home.
We decided to call my girl together last night. She answered Gollum’s cell phone and spoke for a few minutes with Big Papa. He ended up repeating almost everything he said and raised his voice a few octaves at times. When the phone was handed to me, I was so excited to speak to her and began answering her questions about our upcoming vacation and telling her about the happenings of our home and asking about her vacation that she was currently enjoying.
As I spoke, the noise level in the background became increasingly higher. I heard several people yelling and laughing. My girl repeatedly had to ask me what I said as she couldn’t hear with all the commotion in the background. I could barely hear her so I knew she was having a harder time hearing me. Through all of this, I could hear Gollum’s voice almost as clear as my girl’s, so I gathered that she was right next to her throughout our entire five minute phone call. Several times, my girl stopped to speak to her mother – to tell her something I had just said about our plans or to answer her mother’s questions.
Gollum calls 2-3 times while we take our week’s vacation and she asks my girl to call her as well. I think Gollum would like to speak to my girl every day but doesn’t want to seem too needy to us. She would much rather that my girl stopped what she was doing with us each day to call her. Luckily, my girl is still at the age where she forgets to do such things and doesn’t quite understand her mother’s need to be a part of and dominate every aspect of her little life.
I guess five minutes of peace and quiet was too much to ask for on this vacation. Maybe next time.
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