I was off work on President’s Day so Big Papa and I got to spend the day together. We decided to go to a movie and I asked him to come to the baby furniture store with me to “match” the color of the baby furniture we have to get a new crib.
Here is the background:
We have my girl’s baby furniture at our house. I might’ve mentioned before that Big Papa bought the house we live in, on his own, but then Gollum soon after became pregnant with my girl and moved in to his house. She only lived here a few months but since he was just moving in, she took it upon herself to pick out most of the paint colors, décor and furniture.
Don’t get me started – that, in and of itself, is another post, but I have worked for the last 7 years that I have lived here to get rid of everything she picked out and make this my home. It sucks that she had so much influence, only because he had just bought the house and she “happened” to need to move in at that time and was here for less than a year.
Anyway, back to the point, she picked out the baby furniture for my girl and it stayed at our house when she moved out because she moved into her mother’s house. Big Papa GENEROUSLY gave her over 2 thousand dollars to buy a new set. She eventually moved into a small condo and got all new furniture.
Now that I am expecting, the logical thing to do would be the keep the baby furniture we have, correct? It’s in pretty good shape, although 8 years old. I debated getting a whole new set but we just got new bedroom furniture for our room and I didn’t want to be a complete brat and demand new furniture all around. I sat down with my mom and asked her honest opinion of what I should. I respect her opinion greatly and she told me that I should keep the furniture, to be practical and save money for other things we would need for the baby.
That was a few months ago. I decided to keep the furniture but then realized that since we had converted the crib to the full size bed, we didn’t have the screws to put the crib back together. Big Papa said that we should call the baby furniture store and ask if they had a bolt package, and aside from the safety risks, I mentioned that I had no idea how to go about asking for a bolt pack for furniture that was manufactured eight years ago. I thought I had made it clear that I wanted a new crib, for safety reasons and for my own peace of mind. But just the crib, not the whole set…
So we ended up at the baby store and in the middle of carting around the side of a old crib around with us to match the wood to a new crib, Big Papa asked me if the only reason we were doing this was because we didn’t have the bolts. Um….what? Again, I thought I had made it clear that I wanted a new crib because we didn’t have the bolts. So I might’ve been a little incredulous when he asked me while we were in the store. And my response could’ve been interpreted as rather short or snippy, I’m sure. I said, “just ask someone if they have the bolts then!”
And I walked away to look at gliders. I held back my tears for a while but it comes down to this for me….it’s not about the furniture, it rarely is about the thing we appear to be upset over….if I didn’t have a stepdaughter and I didn’t already have baby furniture in my house, Big Papa and I would be shopping together to pick out our baby’s room, not just a crib to match what pieces we had.
Klm Sitzplan
4 years ago
This made me remember when I was pregnant with my son. No matter how excited I got about the pregnancy, he had this been there, done that attitude. I was always encouraged to try for second hand and reuse the things they already had. Luckily for the most part I won and did not have to reuse things she picked out. But I know the feeling of not being able to do anything for the first time with a hubby and being made to feel spoiled if sometimes you do not want your first born child to have to get hand me downs from a previous marriage.
ReplyDeleteLuckily Hubbs didn't have much baby stuff from the son. I understand what you are going through, and even though we had to get our own furniture and most of the stuff for the baby we got a lot of it used. There were a few arguments because I felt he was making it seem like we couldn't buy anything new, when he had bought new stuff from the son. He did have a crib, but its broken down in our attic and I don't like the look of it, I told hubbs we could use it if he refinished it, he didn't want to do that, so we got used (new to us) baby furniture. Just know baby furniture is so short lived, and you can buy new kids furniture for your child when they grow old enough. There is so much stuff to buy/get for a baby you will get your own stuff. Just enjoy thing time, it goes by so fast. Wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteI must say...you are a far bigger woman that I am. I would be wanting my "own" baby furniture even if we had Daisy's sitting there (we don't). There's just something about that thtat i couldn't do. But don't take that the wrong way...you're being the practical one, while I'm coming at it from a more selfish point of view!!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. We don't have all the furniture, but there is a lot of baby stuff... even BM's maternity clothes are still in our basement. I wanted the maternity clothes gone, but DH was like, those clothes have barely been worn, and that shit costs a lot! I hate it but I agree, the money needs to go towards stuff we need, not stuff we have that I just don't want. Some stuff I got rid of when we moved because BM put it away dirty (like the high chair with food still on it, or the diaper genie with poo still on it) but the rest I figure I will save, never hurts to have too many clothes, on an extra playpen to leave at my moms.
ReplyDelete@ misty- that feeling just sucks doesn’t it? And people always say to him, “Oh you’ve been through this before so you know.” Thanks well- meaning friend, you have no idea how much that just hurt me.
ReplyDelete@Life of a Stepmama – thank you! I know, it doesn’t help that we are already on edge about things and being hormonal and then feeling like they did things differently for their firstborn. You’re right though, there is so much you get to buy for a baby, can’t wait to get some cute little outfits :)
@ Tulip - read my next post!! I am like you, just something about it I couldn’t do! I was trying to be practical but found out I couldn’t do it…
@ The Step In Mom – To quote Tulip, you are definitely a far better woman than me!! I would have a really hard time wearing maternity clothes that Gollum had worn, but your DH is right, they are sooo expensive! Honestly, Gollum left a curling iron behind at our house when she moved out and I couldn’t even bring myself to take advantage and use that when I didn’t have one. And that is just gross, how could she put away a diaper genie with poop on it?? Who does that!!!!