More to the story

I’ve been working from home these past few days so I’ve been able to sneak in a post here and there on my home computer. I am so thankful because just writing this down helps me to get out my anger.

When we came home with my girl on Tuesday, we talked about the whole fiasco. We tried to ask her questions that wouldn’t upset her or make her think that she is in trouble or anything like that.

She told us that the “special treat” after choir that Gollum said that my girl asked for (in her email) was actually something that Gollum promised her “to get me to go to choir.” I love that an eight year old realizes that her mother is trying to bribe her.

I told her that we just get confused because she says to us that she doesn’t want to go and then her mom sends us emails and tells us that she wants to go. I said, if you want to go, that is great and we support that but we just have to talk to each other and be honest about this. She then told us that “Mommy is probably lying to you.” We were silent. How do we answer that? We know it’s true but don’t want to get into a negative conversation about her “liar” mother.

My girl then started getting upset and saying that she was confused and my heart just broke for her. She doesn’t want to disappoint her mother but doesn’t want to keep doing this activity. At that point Big Papa asked her if she wanted HIM to call Gollum and discuss this with her. She readily agreed to that. I think she just doesn’t want to be the one to tell Gollum that she is fed up with all the activities.

Earlier in the conversation I told her that we agree with Gollum that you should start what you finish and not be a quitter but I acknowledged that usually it’s tough for anyone to start 4 new things and finish all of them. My girl jumped up and said “YEeees, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell her, it’s too much for me!” That sound you hear is my heart breaking, again.

Big Papa and I ended up getting into a heated discussion later on because I asked him when he was planning on calling Gollum and since she works nights, he said in the morning. I just worried about my girl getting out from school and thinking she wasn’t going and throwing a fit when she found out she had to go. It’s my (step)mom mentality where I worry about all aspects of the situation. I know you all understand that this can’t be helped! Big Papa doesn’t like it when I worry because OBVIOUSLY you can’t change anything with worry and he started to raise his voice at me. I immediately shut it down and told him he can’t talk like that, especially with my girl in the next room. She deals with enough of that at her mother’s house. And I remember being a little girl and listening to my dad yell at my mom and it’s a scary thing.

We both calmed down, I put my girl to bed, and we talked it out. We ended up being able to laugh about everything, joking how he was going to call up Gollum and say “Hello LIAR!” It made us laugh but then we realize it’s not so funny because this type of stuff will continue to happen. I just can only hope and pray that my girl continues to see through the murkiness of her mother’s manipulation.