Crib Shopping – Part 2

Big Papa finally found someone in the baby store that told him there was no way they would have a bolt package for furniture from 8 years ago, that usually a set is discontinued after a year. They told him to go to the local hardware store, bring the crib piece and get them to match the bolts. So we left empty handed and both agreed that we wouldn’t be matching any bolts…

I cried the whole way home. Already emotional and dealing with this situation was too much for me. I knew Big Papa was irritated with me and I hate it when that happens. He asked me why I was crying over furniture and did I want a new set that bad? And I told him that if he wanted my honest feelings about it, YES, I wanted to get a new set and I didn’t want furniture that Gollum had picked out for her baby to be for my baby. He wasn’t upset with me about the furniture, he was upset with me for giving him an attitude because he didn’t think we were there to get a new crib and I snapped a little about that in the store. I don’t know what planet he was on when I had told him I wanted a new crib but he didn’t hear me and was irritated with me for being irritated with him. Such is marriage, no?

After resolving our differences and me apologizing for snapping, we got home and he went inside. I stayed in the truck and cried. I cried because, as a stepmom, I have had to accept a whole lot of things I never thought I would have to.

My fellow stepmoms…you all know this to be true. We have to allow so much and accept so many things that you never imagined you would have to in your marriage and for your family. That lovely comment, ”You knew he had a kid(s) when you married him” is so laughable to me because OF COURSE you knew, but how could any one of us anticipate what would be asked of us after making a commitment to our man and his kid?

At that moment, I felt that I had given up so much, accepted so much. I had accepted that these were the ways things were and that Gollum would never change. Of course the list goes on and on, but I felt that I was at my limit. I didn’t know until I was pregnant that I would feel this way and have to accept something so huge. I feel that I have to accept that although Big Papa is incredibly excited about the birth of this little baby boy and that the dynamic is much different (with us being married and had somewhat planned for this baby, and Gollum getting pregnant by accident a few months after they got back together so many years ago), this is not his first child.

This is not the first time he is experiencing the anticipation of being a parent and all that comes with it. This is all new to me, and it’s not to him. That makes me sad. Of course I wouldn’t change anything with my girl being in our lives because I love her so much, but I so wish Big Papa and I could have this first together.

This realization that was so important to me made me incredibly angry with Gollum because I feel that she took this moment from me. And I believe she knowingly took it from Big Papa. I’m not saying that she knew he would go on to have another kid with someone else but I believe, as Big Papa does and most of his family and friends, that Gollum got pregnant on purpose, trying to trap Big Papa into marriage. There, I said it. I’ve never said it “out loud.” Ultimately, that’s between her and God but, I’m sorry, birth control works great for 5 years then you break up for 10 months, get back together, and a few months later birth control mysteriously doesn’t work correctly? I’ve never gone into The History here on this blog but I think I will need to in a later post.

This woman, who dislikes me and my husband so strongly and doesn’t wish us any good thing in life, has made so many decisions that have affected our lives. She has made and continues to make decisions that have negatively affected our lives. Much of my life today is because of choices that she made. So when Big Papa asks me, do I want to keep the furniture? Do I want to keep a reminder of another one of Gollum’s decisions that I have to live with every day? No, I don’t. As you can see, it’s not about the furniture. Poor Big Papa didn’t understand that when I broke down crying but I was able to explain it to him through my tears. He comforted me and said “I understand…” because really, what else can he say? I told him that I needed him to know that this would probably not be the last time I broke down and cried over this during my pregnancy.

So he took down the convertible bed, told me he wanted to get new carpet in that room and he painted this past weekend. And yes, we are getting new furniture. Sometimes I feel like a brat for getting it but I just couldn’t keep the old set. The emotional side of me won over the practical side of me. We have had so much given to us from a friend who had a little boy last April, and we’ll be getting a set that can convert to a bed so little man can use this furniture well into his teen years.

I think another reason why I had so much trouble with this situation was because Gollum’s sister had dropped my girl off at our house a few nights before the crib shopping event. Her sister is very outgoing and we talk whenever I see her at activities and she is always nice to me. Of course I am guarded with what I say to her but that night she asked to see the baby’s room. I showed her the stuff we had and told her the theme I would have in the room, but obviously we had not painted yet and the room was not “set-up.”

She was asking so many questions and asked about the furniture and I reluctantly had to say we were keeping it (at that time, we were). It killed me that it would probably get back to Gollum that we were keeping it. I don’t know why that part bothered me so much but I just didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. And now I don’t have to. Thank GOD and thank you, Big Papa, with all my heart.

Crib shopping – Part 1

I was off work on President’s Day so Big Papa and I got to spend the day together. We decided to go to a movie and I asked him to come to the baby furniture store with me to “match” the color of the baby furniture we have to get a new crib.

Here is the background:

We have my girl’s baby furniture at our house. I might’ve mentioned before that Big Papa bought the house we live in, on his own, but then Gollum soon after became pregnant with my girl and moved in to his house. She only lived here a few months but since he was just moving in, she took it upon herself to pick out most of the paint colors, décor and furniture.

Don’t get me started – that, in and of itself, is another post, but I have worked for the last 7 years that I have lived here to get rid of everything she picked out and make this my home. It sucks that she had so much influence, only because he had just bought the house and she “happened” to need to move in at that time and was here for less than a year.

Anyway, back to the point, she picked out the baby furniture for my girl and it stayed at our house when she moved out because she moved into her mother’s house. Big Papa GENEROUSLY gave her over 2 thousand dollars to buy a new set. She eventually moved into a small condo and got all new furniture.

Now that I am expecting, the logical thing to do would be the keep the baby furniture we have, correct? It’s in pretty good shape, although 8 years old. I debated getting a whole new set but we just got new bedroom furniture for our room and I didn’t want to be a complete brat and demand new furniture all around. I sat down with my mom and asked her honest opinion of what I should. I respect her opinion greatly and she told me that I should keep the furniture, to be practical and save money for other things we would need for the baby.

That was a few months ago. I decided to keep the furniture but then realized that since we had converted the crib to the full size bed, we didn’t have the screws to put the crib back together. Big Papa said that we should call the baby furniture store and ask if they had a bolt package, and aside from the safety risks, I mentioned that I had no idea how to go about asking for a bolt pack for furniture that was manufactured eight years ago. I thought I had made it clear that I wanted a new crib, for safety reasons and for my own peace of mind. But just the crib, not the whole set…

So we ended up at the baby store and in the middle of carting around the side of a old crib around with us to match the wood to a new crib, Big Papa asked me if the only reason we were doing this was because we didn’t have the bolts. Um….what? Again, I thought I had made it clear that I wanted a new crib because we didn’t have the bolts. So I might’ve been a little incredulous when he asked me while we were in the store. And my response could’ve been interpreted as rather short or snippy, I’m sure. I said, “just ask someone if they have the bolts then!”

And I walked away to look at gliders. I held back my tears for a while but it comes down to this for me….it’s not about the furniture, it rarely is about the thing we appear to be upset over….if I didn’t have a stepdaughter and I didn’t already have baby furniture in my house, Big Papa and I would be shopping together to pick out our baby’s room, not just a crib to match what pieces we had.

The Tooth Fairy

I’m sure most kids believe in the tooth fairy until they are about 11 or 12, right? I think I believed it for all of 5 years and then asked my mom and she told me the truth. Thanks Mom. I’m sure I was freaked out thinking of some unknown fairy lady coming into my room in the middle of the night.

My girl lost a tooth this past Friday. She has lost about 6 already; all very exciting events. She has only lost one tooth at our house and I was so excited when she did so we could play tooth fairy and we got to see the excitement on her little face. It was the coolest thing and one of the fun parenting moments.

My girl gets dropped off by Gollum at our house on Friday and shows me a ziploc baggie with her tooth. She was happy about it but Gollum explained the dentist said this tooth was not supposed to come out just yet because of her age. Usually, this particular tooth comes out when a child is 9 or 10. Gollum mentioned laughingly that my girl thought the tooth fairy would bring $10 because of the size of the tooth and the fact that it shouldn’t have come out yet.

But then she said that maybe the tooth fairy will bring $5 because $10 seemed like a lot. Big Papa, having got done work early that day, had been napping on the couch when they arrived. My girl climbed up into his lap on the couch after saying hello to me. Big Papa made no effort whatsoever to speak with Gollum or acknowledge her in any way. Usually he will say hello but I guess he didn’t feel the need since I was there?? I jokingly mentioned it and he smirked, and chalked it up to being tired.

As she was saying goodbye to my girl and leaving, Gollum said to her, “make sure you call me tomorrow and tell me how you did with the tooth fairy!” Cue discreet eye roll from Big Papa to Big Mama.

For some reason we decided to give my girl $10 for that darn tooth. We both forgot as we drifted off to sleep and then I woke with a start and said “tooth fairy!” Big Papa groaned and asked me to get up to put the money under her pillow. We were cracking up thinking of what horrible parents we would be if we had indeed fallen asleep and forgotten to put the money under her pillow! I think we were both so tired and delusional that we thought $10 would be a good idea. In hindsight, no kid should ever get $10 for a tooth! I mean, I think I used to get $1 and that was a HUGE deal! Hopefully we can back track a little but we are on a slippery slope here.

My girl was excited to see the $10 but paraded around saying, “I told you. I told you she would bring $10!” which, by the way, totally made us both regret even more that we gave her the $10. We then went about our day. We had a lot planned with brunch with my family for my dad’s birthday and a shopping trip with my sisters for some fall wardrobe items for my girl.

I thought about being proactive and suggesting that my girl call Gollum about the tooth fairy visit. Honestly, as we went about our morning and early afternoon, I had forgotten about the demand. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, Gollum frequently asks my girl to call her and my girl usually doesn’t because she is just a kid and doesn’t remember such things.

Ten minutes into our shopping trip, I got a call from Big Papa. He tells me that Gollum had texted his phone asking that my girl call her to let her know how she did with the tooth fairy. He knew I was annoyed but we didn’t discuss it since my girl was with me.

After we left the first store, about a half hour later, I had her call Gollum. She tells Gollum how much money the tooth fairy brought and talked about it for a minute. Then Gollum proceeds to tell her that she was going to the beach that day and that Bilbo (Golllum’s boyfriend) and his son would possibly be there with the rest of her family. I could only tell this by my girl’s responses. My girl became a little whiny at this point saying “no fair! Everyone else is going!?” Gollum then said something to the effect that we should take her swimming in our pool. We were out shopping the whole day so that wouldn’t be happening.

All in all, the phone call was about 5 minutes long and left me pissed off. Apparently my girl didn’t think about it anymore because we had a great day shopping with my sisters and visiting family.

I spoke to Big Papa about it later and explained my point of view. I was annoyed that Gollum had, once again, inserted herself into my girl’s life with us, our time with her. I get that she wants to be a part of my girl’s life but the tooth fairy tale can wait until Sunday when she would see her next. I just feel like we have such limited time with my girl as it is, and Gollum tries to impose on that time whenever she can grasp on to an excuse to do so.

And on top of her shoving herself into our family life and limited time together, she is making sure my girl knows what she is missing in the other house. I know it happens a lot with birthmother’s and their jealousy but I am so angry that she would do this, especially when we are doing her a favor by having my girl call her. It’s just so immature and shows how insecure she is. How do we put a stop to this without jeopardizing the civil and polite relationship we have with Gollum now? I know I was hurt by this but my girl, though she didn’t say anything to me directly, was certainly hurt.

It truly amazes me what lows these birthmoms will stoop to; it amazes me how they don’t stop and think how much they are hurting their own child in the process.

Mother-In-Law Saga

My mother-in-law and I have had a rocky road to where we now reside which, for the time being and this week only, is a friendly relationship. This road was not an easy one and there is no guarantee that our relationship will stay in the good place it is now. My own mother thinks the ups and downs in my relationship with my M-I-L has to do with her going through menopause and her own dysfunctional upbringing. I am in no way an expert on the menopause topic so I’m not sure on either topic…..

I do know that she was great to me for the first 5 years of my relationship to Big Papa. Even after Big Papa and I were engaged, she was still good to me and seemed to want to pursue a healthy relationship with me. I noticed that as I planned for the wedding, she stepped back more and more and didn’t want to have much to do with the planning process even as I tried to include her as Big Papa is an only child and this would be her only wedding where she would ever be the “mother of the…..” She would agree to help or visit venues with me and then always be mysteriously sick or change the subject when I began to talk of our nuptial plans.

Then it’s our actual wedding day and it’s 15 minutes before I am supposed to walk down the aisle and my hair is just not cooperating and I was REALLY stressed. My girl’s hair also needed to be fixed. My MIL is standing in the room and I hear her tell the photographer that she was taking my girl OUTSIDE (in the grass & dirt mind you!) to take pictures with Big Papa. Did she ask me? No. She didn’t even say anything about this directly to me. I just happened to overhear and said “oh no, I’m sorry, we can’t do that right now because we’ll be walking out soon.” Maybe I was short with her. I’m not sure and to be honest, the only thing I remember clearly is her trying to sneak my girl away and me panicking that my girl needed her hair fixed. My MIL walked out and I didn’t think much more of it.

The wedding was amazing and beautiful and all our family and friends surrounding us brought me to tears and made me so thankful for my wonderful life and these people who love me and Big Papa so much. It was truly one of the best days of my life (cliché I know, but true!). The only thing I could’ve wanted was pictures that I was not able to get. I had given the photographer a list and he was not able to get everything on it which was very disappointing for me but I couldn’t go back and change it. Instead I decided to focus on the positive and the amazing pictures that were taken.

The next weekend my in-laws stop by our house and give us a very generous check as a wedding present. Hugs and thank you’s all around. The next weekend (now two weeks after our wedding) we invited my in-laws over for dinner and I am getting the silent treatment from my MIL. And she had requested some time the next day with my girl and asked Big Papa if he would be dropping her off and he informed her that I would be doing the drop off and pick ups (as usual). She was clearly not happy about this. The next day with the pick-up, she wouldn’t tell me where she was taking my girl as it was surprise for my girl (and apparently a surprise for me too). I put my girl in her car and shut the door and lightheartedly said, “well, have a good time!” The response? A stiff and cold, “Oh we will.” Huh??

Long story short, I mention it to Big Papa and he jumps to her defense, saying I misinterpreted everything. Then he mentions it to her the next day (which is Mother’s Day, keep in mind, and already a tough day for me) and she breaks down crying and he tells her to come over and talk with me. He wouldn’t tell me why she was crying, only that he thinks SHE misread ME. Following? I didn’t. So she comes over, I try to give her a hug and say “Happy Mother’s Day” and I get the cold shoulder and she wouldn’t remove her sunglasses inside my house.

I’ll spare you the dirtiest details but the core of her very large problem with me was the fact that I didn’t “allow” my girl to go out with her on our wedding day 15 minutes before we were scheduled to walk down the aisle. Keep in mind that she acted okay around me for the week and a half AFTER this incident occurred. She was sobbing on my couch and basically screaming at me.

She yelled, “YOU WOULDN’T ALLOW ME TO HAVE A PICTURE WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER! AND MY SON! BECAUSE OF YOU, I DIDN’T GET THE PCITURES THAT I WANTED AND I DON’T HAVE A PICTURE OF MY OWN FAMILY- THE 4 OF US- AT MY ONLY CHILD’S WEDDING. When I tried to explain that I didn’t allow my girl to go with her at that very point and time because the ceremony was about to commence, she again began screaming, BUT HE WAS MARRYING YOUUUU. YOU WOULDN’T START THE WEDDING WITHOUT HIMMMM. Meaning, I guess that if she was taking pictures with Big Papa and my girl that the wedding wouldn’t be able to start yet. Well, that’s my best guess on what she meant. I then also explained to her that my girl also needed her hair fixed and that needed to be done before the ceremony. She visibly calmed down after she realized what I was saying made sense and was the truth. At this point I am thinking:

1)Why is this woman yelling at me and why does she still have her sunglasses on?

2)How can she possibly think that I wouldn’t “ALLOW” pictures to be taken with her family? How can she possibly think that I am such an evil, conniving b*tch that I would stop such a thing as family pictures?? I can’t believe she went around for 2 weeks, thinking and telling people that she actually thought these awful things about me.

3)We have so many pictures of the family, how did she possibly not get the pictures she was looking for?

4)If there were any pictures that were so important to her, why didn’t she give me a list when I asked her for one, for the photographer, weeks before the wedding?

5)The comment about “her family- the 4 of us” must mean her, my FIL, Big Papa and my girl because we have dozens of pictures of me, Big Papa, her and my FIL.

6)Oh God. I can’t believe this woman wanted a picture of “her family” that didn’t include me. Why wouldn’t you want the 5 of us? Does she hate me that much?

I am crying at this point. I tell her that I also didn’t get all the pictures that I wanted to get and that I was disappointed with my photographer but there is nothing I can do about it now. We left on okay terms, with both of us apologetic. She actually did apologize for the way she had treated me. Said she wouldn’t have treated me like that if she knew the real reason behind the photo fiasco. Wow. I cried for the rest of the day.

We were fine for the next few months but had to have another very serious talk the night before Big Papa and I left for our delayed honeymoon. That discussion and its prerequisite deserve a separate post.

The way I see it, we have two issues between us – one being the fact that she tries to remain close to Gollum, her grandchild’s mother, and two being the fact that my MIL somehow doesn’t like the fact that, although Big Papa and her aren’t close, I married her “little baby boy.” The task of working through those two issues seems insurmountable to me.

I still feel as though she continually devalues our relationship (her and I) by maintaining such a close relationship with Gollum. She disrespects my role as the primary caregiver in our house by sneaking around and trying to get extra time (from our limited time) with my girl. She’ll wait until I leave the room to ask Big Papa if my girl can sleep over her house when clearly, I am the one who maintains the schedule in our house, because Big Papa will immediately come and ask me about it.

Did I mention that she and my FIL take my girl every other Saturday night while Gollum works her job as a bartender? I almost feel like my MIL is jealous of the fact that Big Papa, my girl and I are so close and happy that she tries to “get back” at me with Gollum.

I wish I could just say to her: I am supposed to be your family, not Gollum. You and my FIL both kiss her a$$ (admittedly) and its hurtful to Big Papa and I. You are pulling her closer as you push us away. How will that affect your relationship with your future grandkids? Any advice on the evil M-I-L fellow stepmoms?

A Letter to Big Papa

I want to preface this by saying that I love you very much. More than anyone. I need you to hear me out on this one. I need you to know that you’re letting her affect our relationship by not sticking up for me and stopping this ridiculousness. You should know by now that she nitpicks on any little thing that I do or say. Last night you were spouting off to me what I know she just said to you (about the prescription being someone else’s blah blah blah) and it really pissed me off and hurt me that you didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. Like I said, I wouldn’t give someone else my prescription and told my girl she needed something like that from her allergy/asthma doctor. It’s funny how she forgets a little incident a few years ago when Gollum gave my girl someone else’s prescription and we have written documentation saying so. And to top it off, she was using someone else’s prescription ON HER SKIN. Remember that? Think about that before you tell me “it’s a problem if you did that” because of what she put in your head.

The reason you have this idea in your head that I get upset whenever you tell me something about her or when you tell me when she calls or whatever is because most of the time when she calls it is something negative toward me. You don’t understand why I get upset because it’s not quite directed at you. You think I make stuff up in my head – you need to remember that she would be a whole lot happier if I was gone and remember that when dealing with her and looking at the stuff she says and does. I get upset because the negative stuff is directed at me, through you and you don’t see it. You think everything is fine and “I’m just telling you what she told me” like you have nothing to do with it and you’re her little messenger boy. It’s like you don’t care how much it upsets me and hurts me. And on top of it all, it feels like you reward her bad behavior by taking her calls at 10PM when you had just 40min earlier asked me if it was too late to call someone. Hmmm. 10PM IS too late to call but not if you’re good old Gollum with a vendetta!
Also, at Easter, (details to come….)one of the problems I had with the whole conversation was that she completely pulled the rug out from under us and changed the plan and I heard you say thank you like 3 times and “awesome, great, thanks!” Really, I have no problem with you thanking her for giving us time with my girl but the problem I have and why I got upset was that she changed it all around (as she usually does when the original plan doesn’t suit her at that exact moment) and you are sitting there acting like it is fine and AWESOME that she did that. I just have a hard time processing that you can still act like she was doing something that was OK. The reason it wasn’t ok was because my girl was affected by it – she thought we weren’t there for her because of what Gollum chose to do.

I feel like I am fighting for my life here and fighting for my spot in this family. I feel like you don’t understand (which I have told you that I realize that you can’t understand my position as a stepmom) but even more so I feel like you don’t even care to understand where I am coming from. We have a great relationship but if you keep allowing her to dictate what happens in our home with my girl, these little squabbles here and there will turn into something bigger and counseling will be needed. I realize that your hands are tied and you don’t want to damage the relationship with Gollum for my girl’s sake. I get that. Know that I understand that completely. However, there is something great about BOUNDARIES and remembering the person who always has your back and wouldn’t let anyone treat you the way she is treating me. Right, “what do you want me to do??” is always your response. Read above – I don’t need a crusade on my behalf, I just want you to sit back and realize that you need to approach this differently because the current way isn’t working. You need to be able to tell me when she calls and what she says in regards to my girl and issues and whatever but I can’t just have you drop it on my lap like you do and expect me not to get upset when it negatively affects me or you or my girl. We need to work on a different approach together because I am at the end here – I can’t operate this way for much longer. Seven years is a long time to be dumped on and beat up and treated like less than a human being and less than an active participant in my girl’s life. I’ll try to equate this to a situation that, hopefully, you can understand. If you had to deal with your former friends, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum every day of your life for the next 20 years, it would make you upset too. What if both of these losers called me or did something through me at least once a week to try and undermine you, your credibility and our relationship? I know for a fact that you would have a problem with it. Because they aren’t good people either and when they have done stupid stuff and said mean things about you - I have heard about it. And that is fine and natural to vent about someone that has wronged you. Just don’t get mad at me when I do it. I truly don’t mean to take it out on you but sometimes I do get mad at you for allowing the crap that she pulls so I do take it out on you. Because you don’t see the problem and that SUCKS for me.

I just want you to have my back when it comes to this. I hope that is not too much to ask. Like I said, I'm suggesting counseling for us if something doesn't drastically change here. I don't know how else to make you hear me and understand. It’s really not that hard - don't doubt me, have my back, don't take all her calls (especially late ones like last night), remember that she is a demented, insecure and evil creature that will stop at nothing to try to destroy our family. Don’t underestimate her. You forget how deeply she hurt you and how viciously she is trying to do the same to us.

A glimpse at the Beginning

I’ve been with her almost her whole life. I missed the first 7 months but I’ve been with her ever since. I don’t ever want to take the place of her biological mother. I promise you that. But I do have a very close bond with my girl. She had my heart the day I met her when she looked at me with those big, blue, beautiful eyes. I grabbed her before-bed bottle and fed it to her, sitting on the living room floor. I just sat there, holding her in my arms, giving & getting happy smiles. I could feel him looking at me. That was the night, after we tucked her in, that he told me that he loved me. My response? “I think I love you too.” I know, horrible, but he had hurt me badly before and I was scared. And he had a daughter now. It was a whole different ballgame. But despite all my reservations AND my head telling me it all wasn’t a good idea, my heart was telling me to jump in. So I did. With both feet. Which is why she feels like my own. Which is why I love my girl and my husband (hereafter referred to as ‘Big Papa’) more than life itself. Which is why I worry about my girl at school, at the “other house” with a manipulative, controlling mother who expects perfection and fights with her fiancé (Or boyfriend?....more on that in another post) in front of my girl. I worry about her relationships with her friends, the bullies on the playground, her grades, what she will be when she grows up, when she’ll get her heart broken for the first time, and when she will say ‘I love you’ to a boy for the first time….


I’m sure her mother worries about these things for her too. Her mother. The woman who appears to hate me, who likes to pretend I don’t exist and who looks at my husband when responding to a question I ask in an attempt to communicate about our kid during drop off and pick up times. This non-relationship deserves its own post so I’ll stop right here.

This was all on my mind today as I thought about the possibility of my girl sleeping over at a friend’s house during our weekend time. I hesitated. My girl has had a few sleepovers already as she is 7 now and she is at the age where sleepovers are the best ever. Remember that age? I hesitated because it didn’t feel right that somebody else would put my baby to bed. How could they know that my girl likes her back rubbed for at least 4 minutes each night, that we say 2 different prayers and read a story before bed? Even if I told them what to do, it still wouldn’t be right because it wouldn’t be me putting her to bed.

Then I realized I was being silly because someone else puts her to bed 50% of the time. That someone else is her mother who must feel the same way. Do I block this realization out? I must because it hit me hard today. I can’t imagine how hard it is for my girl’s mother to deal with the fact that another woman is in her daughter’s life. And that her daughter loves that other woman. And that this other woman loves her daughter so much it hurts sometimes. But it’s hard for me too. I guess because I’m the ‘wicked stepmother’, I’m not supposed to feel this way….right?